https://scentedbalance.com/aromatherapy » Blog » Observations

Category: Observations

Are We Teaching Our Girls To Shine?

Are We Teaching Our Girls To Shrink,, #timesup movementWoohoo! It’s Women’s History Month which is awesome! It shines a light on the accomplishments of some amazing women from all walks of life who might otherwise simply be a footnote in history.

With that said, are we teaching our girls to shine or shrink?

I’m frustrated by the double standard that women still endure. Our lives are far more complicated and difficult than that of our male counterparts.

Why is it that we had to fight for an amendment simply to cast a ballot? That was the 19th Amendment to the Constitution passed in  March, 1919.

One hundred years later, we’re still fighting to be taken seriously in the board room, still fighting to be paid equal to a man and we bear the brunt of marriage and children (yes, actually we do) called the second and third shift. Work life balance

We still live in a patriarchal society where strong passionate women are considered bossy and yet a strong passionate man is considered a leader.

Why is that?

Honestly, tell me something. What’s the difference between two strong passionate personalities – one being female and one being male – who accomplish great things for themselves and the world?

Nothing.

Except perception and gender. 

Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie is a MacArthur Foundation Fellow, author and national speaker who says this about what we teach girls:

We teach girls to shrink themselves, to make themselves smaller. We say to girls, you can have ambition, but not too much. You should aim to be successful, but not too successful. Otherwise, you would threaten the man. Because I am female, I am expected to aspire to marriage. I am expected to make my life choices always keeping in mind that marriage is the most important. Now, marriage can be a source of joy and love and mutual support but why do we teach girls to aspire to marriage and we don’t teach boys the same? We raise girls to see each other as competitors not for jobs or accomplishments, which I think can be a good thing, but for the attention of men. We teach girls that they cannot be sexual beings in the way that boys are.

She really lays it out there, doesn’t she? 

And it’s all true.

Gender Differences

So, why is it okay to teach girls to aspire to marriage, but not boys? What’s the difference?

Why is it okay for boys to have unlimited ambition but not girls? What’s the difference?

Why do men get paid more than women for doing the same job? What’s the difference?

Why can men enjoy a drink at a bar but women are just “asking for it” if they do the same thing? What’s the difference?

I believe finally the tide is beginning to turn in our favor. The #metoo and #timesup movements have been able to shine a bright and long overdue light on sexual harassment and gender inequality.

It’s long past time that we began teaching our daughters in earnest that they never have to shrink or make themselves smaller to appease powerful men, get ahead or simply survive. 

Let’s Celebrate Women’s History Month Women's History Month, work life balance, gender inequality, gender differences

In honor of Women’s History Month, The Skimm offers up 19 women who have made a difference in sports, business, entertainment and politics such as:

Let’s make a pact right now to teach our girls that it’s okay to be ambitious – whatever that looks like to her; that it’s okay to be intelligent; that it’s okay to be successful beyond her wildest dreams.

Let’s also teach them that the same leadership qualities we hold dear in men are welcome and celebrated in women.

Let’s teach our girls that it’s okay if they don’t want to be married or have children and that it’s perfectly fine to excel in business, sports, politics, science, math and technology.

Please take a moment to tell me your thoughts on gender inequality. How has it affected you? Please leave your comments below – I’d love to hear from you.

I’m grateful that you stopped by today – want to talk about something? Fill out this short contact form and let’s talk!

Blessings,

Melissa

A Little Self Love on Valentine’s Day

A Little Self Love on Valentine's Day, Galentine's Day, Radical Self Love, teach other people how to treat you

Valentine’s Day is this week – ah, the day of love. I’m more interested in a little self love on Valentine’s Day so I have one question. 

Why do we need one day a year to really focus on love?

Focusing On Love Every Day

My beliefs have changed over the years (I’m sure yours have, too) and here’s something I live by:

We are all connected.

In talking with a friend of mine the other day, she said something that really spoke to me. She said, “when you love yourself and practice real self-care, that goes out into the universe and helps everyone else, too.”

Today, I’d like to share a little bit of love and send all sorts of good vibes out into the universe. This is an excerpt from the Beautiful You Manifesto written by Rosie Molinary. You can read the entire manifesto – which is amazing – on the Beautiful You page at Scented Balance.

practice radical self-acceptance.

you are already worthy. you are always enough.

embrace your total wellness – your body, soul and mind guide you through this life.

you must take care of you. you teach other people how to treat you.

never forget that you have the right and responsibility to quit anything that hurts you.

What strikes me the most is the sentence about practicing radical self acceptance. Honestly, I never really thought about self love and self acceptance until I actually started writing down the words that I say to myself.

whoo…

Yes, I’ve written about radical self love and self acceptance several other times. But it bears repeating as many times as it takes for women (in particular) to realize we are so much more than what society would have us believe.

Today, during this week of Valentine’s Day, take a look inward and see how you can love yourself just a little bit more. How about focusing on treasured friendships (especially your gal pals) instead of the hype?what is self care, self care, self care activities, Galentine's Day, teach other people how to treat you

I’ve always thought that Valentine’s Day is incredibly high-pressure and overblown. Romantic love can be fleeting and messy and for some, Valentine’s Day is miserable.

For the few people in my life that I dearly love – I let them know as often as possible. Otherwise, it becomes just like the day after Christmas – everything goes back to normal and the cease-fire ends.

I’ve created a beautiful blend for practicing self love.

Self Love Blend

  • 5 drops Lavender (Lavendula angustifolia)
  • 3 drops Neroli Petitgrain Co-Distill (Citrus aurantium var. amara)
  • 2 drops Jasmine (Jasminum grandiflorium)
  • 2 drops Frankincense (Boswellia carterii)
  • 10 mL Jojoba Wax
  • 10 mL roller bottle

Combine all ingredients and roll on your heart area three times daily.

In the next few days, I have a new line of aromatherapy roller ball scents making their debut specifically for Chakra care. I’ve paid particular attention to the heart Chakra which is the center of love for yourself and others.

To celebrate friendships, I’m hosting a Galentine’s Day Get Together on February 13th from 7 – 9 PM at my newly renovated and oh-so-beautiful studio.

I want you to feel a warm welcome when you step into my studio and the first 10 Galentines will each receive a sample of the Heart Chakra blend. #galentinesday

I want each one of you to know how beautiful you are – inside and out. To each of you – you’re amazing with your own special gifts and I’m honored that you’ve chosen to be a part of my community.

Many thanks, blessings and much love to you always!

Melissa

Personal Responsibility Or Personal Investment?

We've all heard about taking personal responsibility for our own lives. Based on a recent wonderful learning experience, I'd like to reframe that if I may.  What do you think makes a bigger impact: personal responsibility or personal investment?

Read more

Be Kind and Gentle

This year, let's choose to be kind and gentle to each other - but especially to ourselves. How do you do that when the inner war never ceases?

Read more

Merry Christmas!

With all the busyness, hustle and bustle around the Christmas season, my gift to you is a moment to relax and smile with a sweet poem.

Read more