I wish I knew what to write about this week. My heart is hurting at all the hatred that has been spewed in the United States. So, this week, my words are spoken from the heart not about essential oils, but about kindness compassion and tolerance.
Anne Frank was such an old soul who knew so deeply what the world has yet to figure out. Here are some of her wise words – spoken from the heart:
How wonderful it is that nobody need wait a single moment before starting to improve the world.”
It’s really a wonder that I haven’t dropped all my ideals, because they seem so absurd and impossible to carry out. Yet I keep them, because in spite of everything, I still believe that people are really good at heart.
I’ve found that there is always some beauty left — in nature, sunshine, freedom, in yourself; these can all help you.
No one has ever become poor by giving.
I don’t think of all the misery, but of the beauty that still remains.
And then, there’s Mister Rogers. He is sorely missed as Fred Rogers had a unique and kind way of looking at the world and helping us – especially children – process the most painful of times.
There are three ways to ultimate success: The first way is to be kind. The second way is to be kind. The third way is to be kind.
In times of stress, the best thing we can do for each other is to listen with our ears and our hearts and to be assured that our questions are just as important as our answers.
When I was a boy and I would see scary things in the news, my mother would say to me, ‘Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping.’
Today, I’m simply reaching out to you with kindness, light and love in a world gone mad. We are the ones left behind to keep life going and to be kind to one another. We are the ones who can show kindness, compassion and tolerance to those who don’t look like us.
There is beauty left in the world and each of us has a light to shine. Please, take time to shine your light today wherever you are.
Yes, Margaret, we all experience the inevitable bad day. You’ve been there. A fender bender, a dressing-down by the boss, a relationship that went to hell in a handbasket – any number of things can make life veer wildly off the rails. And then, you feel angry because it seems like the bad day will never end.
Today may very well be an awesome day for you! I hope that’s the case. But if you’re searching for comfort after a bad day and landed here, please know that you have my deepest and heartfelt empathy. I so-o-o-o wish I could wave my magic fairy wand to fix what’s gone wrong or at least make the backlash and after-effects go away.
Just know that I hear you. I see you. Please be gentle on yourself. Compassion for yourself is what you desperately need right now. Take a moment to count the times when you’ve come through in a sticky situation, when you’ve made the right decision or when you gave from your heart.
Any one who knows me well knows that I can go down the rabbit hole from zero to sixty in no time flat. (I wrote about that in a blog post and the compassion I received from you was nothing short of amazing – thank you.) Oftentimes, I can pick out the stupid stuff I did or said, but somehow the other ninety percent of stuff I’m responsible for that was really good completely disappears from my thought pattern.
And that simply makes a bad day worse.
Do you find yourself doing that same thing – going down the rabbit hole so fast that your head spins?
Over the last few years, I’ve had more than my share of tough times and when they hit, usually with a vengeance, I isolate myself, pour a tasty glass of wine and clean my apartment to process everything. Mindless activity is the best thing I can do for self-care during times of high stress – or pouting.
One time, I believe it was 2013, it was one of those days. Seriously. One. Of. Those. Days. As I look back, I can see now that life was about to come crashing down in huge waves and there was nothing I could do to change it or stop it. It was just a difficult day (and time) and I needed some insight to bring the light back to my heart.
The post that spoke to me was written by Tamara Laporte. She is based out of England and teaches mixed media art along with wellness. I’m not necessarily good at traditional art, but this post spoke to my heart. She writes:
Often, no matter what we do or don’t do: our dreams don’t come true. And you know what? Instead of feeling shitty and miserable about that; I want to be ok with that. No. I want to be ok before that. I want to be at a place in my life, even if I’m in a mess, with an overweight body, sleep-deprived, a few grey hairs, without a dream house, without quadrupling my business income, without a book or licensing deal, without a diamond-pooping-unicorn, a mermaid-shaped swimming pool, a jet, butler and baby leopard and still be blissfully, irrevocably, stunningly happy, just as is. With gratitude, with awe and with joy. Because life is just that: awesome, joyful, amazing without all the external stuff. I mean like, have you seen butterflies lately?!
Let’s get real here – at that time, there was nothing stunningly happy. Period. And it took me quite a while to find my happy.
I am still a subscriber to her newsletter to this day because I love her amazing talent and huge heart. Even though I’m not an artist, her writing and beautiful talent speak to my heart.Actually, aromatherapyis my art and creative outlet – I’m proud to say this is my calling and gift. As a trained aromatherapist, I can help you with so much including emotional healing.
How To Turn a Bad Mood Into a Better Mood
One of the things I like to do on my Facebook page (https://facebook.com/scentedbalance/) is to bring some joy into your life. Not everyone has perfectly sunny days and I want you to know that I’m sensitive to that. You know, most days are good (ah, yes life is good) but some days are perfectly shitty and I’m not going to pretend otherwise.
And I’m also not going to pretend for a skinny minute that I have all the answers of how to turn a bad mood into a better mood. We all have our times, okay?
When I feel annoyed and pouty, sometimes, I just need to be by myself. Other times, I really need to find something that speaks to my bad mood.
Sometimes, I post fun stuff on my facebook newsfeed just because it can brighten your mood, help you through a difficult time, or help you to let go of something that ‘s bugging you – a happy distraction if you will.
Then it hit me: Life Is Good – you know all those tee shirts and ball caps that you see everywhere? So I went to their website and found something awesome! They donate 10% of their profits to helping children in need – what a way to brighten your bad mood.
A Couple of Ways To Let Go
How do you let go of a bad day? Obviously, I use aromatherapy – I work with 82 different essential oils, so you KNOW I create awesome blends to brighten your mood! Listen, if you don’t like the smell of one oil, I have 81 others that we can use.
What I’m trying now (ok, not right now) is meditation. For me, trying to meditate is like putting six cats in a cardboard box. You might contain the chatter, but the squirming and screaming will eventually get on your last nerve. Sigh…
If you would like to try meditation, Oprah and Deepak Chopra have a number of nice meditations to help you get started. They are guided to a certain extent – both of them have very soothing voices – and part of the meditation has soft music with no talking. Of course, I have a wonderful meditation blend that I offer at fairs and festivals for $14.95. Or you can make it on your own:
Calming Meditation Blend
24 drops Grapefruit
18 drops Lavender
12 drops Frankincense
12 drops Myrrh
6 drops Sandalwood
6 drops Cypress
6 drops Opopanax
6 drops Siberian Fir
6 drops Spruce
6 drops Melissa
5 mL Blue (or Amber) Glass Bottle with dropper
Combine all essential oils into the bottle, gently shake before each use. Put 5 – 6 drops in a cold mist diffuser in the room where you meditate (or really, any room where you are). You can also put the same amount of drops with a teaspoon of coconut oil and apply to your chest – either application will help calm what I call the “monkey mind”.
You know the monkey mind – that’s when you lay down for the night and you can’t let go because your brain goes haywire. Yep. That’s me. Now you know why I create these blends!
Aromatherapy (and holistic life coaching) are amazing to address areas such as anger, depression, frustration and the ever-present monkey mind.
Seems like the world has gone mad over the last few months. All the talking heads do is spit out bad news and worse news. It’s overwhelming as an adult to absorb all the hatred, nastiness and cruelty coming at us from every direction.
It’s even harder to absorb as a child when you don’t yet understand how the world works. It looks and sounds horrifying especially when the grown ups turn on the 24 hour news channels and never turn them off.
We watch, we listen, we absorb all this bad news and I don’t see a whole lot of understanding to help us manage all the stuff that’s coming at us. Can you imagine how a child feels seeing all this carnage and having no way to process it?
My heart breaks every time I hear yet another instance of the human race being so incredibly cruel to one another. Then, you have to see it, hear it and read about “it” for hours and days – burning this horrible information into our souls.
And yet, it continues day after week after month. Neither side of any issue is willing to give an inch for fear of having to give a mile. And if nobody will give an inch, how do we expect to have any honest conversations?
Seriously, no conversation will take place in the current political climate. We have a reality-TV-star-turned-politician purposely encouraging violence, legitimizing racism, declaring a war on women, spewing nastiness in every sentence (and tweet) and demonstrating such an incredible lack of dignity that it’s beyond the pale. How is this setting a good example for future generations?
How do you deal with all the bullshit? How do you absorb all the vitriol and retain your sanity?
Where does it all end?
Look For The Helpers
Ellen DeGeneres went to work the day after the Las Vegas massacre and decided there was too much good in the world to let it go by unnoticed. I love her explanation of how she chooses to come to work and give you good television in the midst of all the heartache.
Take a few moments to watch “the helpers”, the good people of the world who selflessly give their all every single day to make the world a better place.
I watched this in the days after the Las Vegas shooting nightmare and it brought me to tears. Hopefully, it moves you as much as it moved me.
We have to look for the good in the world. There are helpers everywhere – those who see the beauty – and the sadness – all around them and do something to add kindness and hope to the world.
When it all seems too much to endure, please just stop. Turn off the television, sign out of social media and, for the love of all that is sane, STOP checking your phone every twenty minutes.
Technology is a wonderful and amazing thing to make life easier, to keep us connected and to overwhelm us. Every time we hear more bad news, we take to social media to offer up thoughts and prayers to whomever was affected this week.
How many times a day do you check your social media? And if you’re not checking your email you feel frantic and disconnected. Let’s not EVEN talk about forgetting your phone when you walk out the door – it’s enough to cause apoplexy.
Am I close here?
We’ve gone from having a simple answering machine to check every night after work to being joined at the hip to our smart phones so we can be the first to know and the first to offer up useless thoughts and prayers for victims of whatever disaster because we don’t know what else to do.
How’s that working out?
As a society, I believe we’re overwhelmed at all the of the information relentlessly coming at us. Knowledge is not the same thing as wisdom. We have to know the difference between the two and to know when to act on that wisdom.
Clearly, we are not doing a good job of teaching wisdom to each other and definitely not our children.
How Can I Help?
Yes, there are ways you can help – there is something you can do besides constantly stare at a television or phone.
If you are looking for a charity to help out Project Hope does an amazing amount of humanitarian work with very few dollars. If you can’t send money, simply send love and light to those affected. If you can’t find it in your heart to do that, then look for the helpers.
Because there’s always helpers.
Please be a helper today. Someone needs your smile, your kindness, your compassion, your hope. Open your heart and be a helper.
There are indeed good people all over the world. Good people of every color, every faith, every nationality. Good people that give of themselves and do what they can to help those who have so much less. People helping people in need.