https://scentedbalance.com/aromatherapy » June 2018

Month: June 2018

Angel In Disguise

Angel In Disguise, angels unaware, kindness, beacon of kindness, apathy, indifference

People are what you make them. A scornful look turns into a complete fool a man of average intelligence. A contemptuous indifference turns into an enemy a woman who, well treated, might have been an angel. Andre Maurois

When’s the last time you thought about an angel in disguise? I am a fan of motivational quotes. They always seem to trip a trigger in my brain. Lately, I’ve worked to keep my eyes open to all the “serendipities” of life and when thinking about this week’s entry, the above quote jumped out on my screen.

And it got me to thinking…

People walk around hoping to present to the world how they see themselves, but often we see them through the lens of our life experiences and judgments. I believe we make those harsh judgments of others based on our own personal notion of “normal.”

Normal? Relative to what? What is normal anyway?

Maybe what I see as “normal” is ridiculously boring and absolutely out of the question for you. Maybe I’m the really weird one in the world and everyone else is sane. Maybe your coworker or best friend is fighting a demon or struggling with a problem and it comes across to you as a snarky comment or contemptuous indifference.

It’s the contemptuous indifference that just absolutely makes me crazy. All of this to say: Kindness.

Kindness

We all have problems and we want them solved. We go looking for answers and – OMG – what if YOU are the answer to someone’s problem that day? What if just by showing up and being kind, you made them feel less alone and more “normal?”

Because of kindness, what if you give somebody a big smile in spite of the bitchy comment they just threw out? You become the angel in disguise because instead of biting back, you empathized with someone who might look and act completely different than you. You cleaned up someone else’s screw-up without telling the whole world and they know there really is good in the world.

Kindness really does matter. Kindness is very important. And many times, your kindness opens the door to marvelous serendipities.

Years ago, I lived in this tiny rent house in a cul de sac just off a very busy highway. One summer day, I was home alone as my son was playing at his friend’s house. Since I didn’t have air conditioning, the windows and doors were wide open.

I can’t remember what I was doing – just putzing around the house on a Saturday afternoon. An older man – who had seen much better days – knocked on my screen door and asked for a glass of water. I brought a glass of water to the door and he sucked it down and asked for another. I brought another glass of water and he quickly drank that, too. He asked for a third and so I went to the kitchen and poured the water, but when I got back to the front door, he was gone.

He disappeared into thin air.

I have no idea what happened to him. He was old and dirty and I didn’t have a clue who he was or where he came from. No one in the other neighborhood houses even saw him.

Was he an angel in disguise waiting to see what I would do? I don’t know. When I told my mother about the experience, she freaked out and started screaming that I could have been killed and what was I thinking and how could I have been so stupid?

All I did was give a glass of water to a thirsty man. I didn’t feel stupid and I didn’t feel threatened at the time that this event took place. Someone was thirsty so I solved a problem (albeit for the short term) and helped another human being.

I simply treated him with kindness instead of cold indifference or even worse — apathy. I don’t know if I really have a guardian angel but, in that instance, some force was watching over me very closely. Call it what you want – guardian angels or serendipity – it all comes down to the same thing – angels in disguise.

My Own Angel In Disguise

One time I dropped a box of business cards all over a downtown street corner. I was late, frustrated and near tears picking up a thousand business cards when a kind soul said “May I help you?” In my frustration I simply said a terse “no thank you” and kept picking up the cards. She said “are you sure?” and I uttered no thanks – then I looked up.

Here was a young woman with studs coming out of her nose, lips, eyebrows, tongue – you name it! She wore odd clothes and had really different hair – I will never forget her.

I wished now I would have said “yes, thank you so much for your help.” But I didn’t – I simply gave her a terse “no thank you.”

I still feel ashamed when I think back on that incident – what if she were struggling that day and by extending a hand of kindness to a stranger, she was trying to reach out as all “normal” human beings do?

Instead of letting her help me, my angel in disguise was promptly rebuffed. I was so uncomfortable allowing (and receiving) help that I couldn’t even say yes, thank you.

Jeez – what an impression I left that day. At best, I was rude and at worst, I was insensitive to another human being who was simply being kind. Boy, do my wings ever need adjusting…

You never know what serendipity will bring when you least expect it so I’m keeping my eyes open for an angel in disguise. What about you? I would love to hear about your angel in disguise. Were you the angel? Or were you on the receiving end of an angel in disguise? Please leave a comment below and tell me your story – I’d love to know about your lovely coincidences.

As always, I would certainly appreciate a like on Facebook or a tweet on Twitter. It helps the Google fairies find Scented Balance and makes you an angel in disguise! ;o)

Melissa

 

The Butterfly Effect

Butterfly Effect, Make A Difference, Andy Andrews Butterfly Effect, Butterfly Effect Full Movie

Have you ever heard of the Butterfly Effect? I first heard about it years ago regarding hurricanes – “when a butterfly flaps its’ wings in Africa, we get hurricanes in the United States.”

That’s true if you think about it – how else would hurricanes form? The butterfly effect is the same in that every single thing you do matters. Every single one of us make a difference just by being here.

Surely I’m not the only one who has felt invisible at one time or another. Life simply plugs along and happens to us and it seems like very little matters outside of our little corner of the world.

Ah, but you do matter. Each one of us makes a difference with every breath we take. You remember It’s a Wonderful Life don’t you? Jimmy Stewart plays George Bailey who sees his life passing before his eyes, always struggling, never really achieving what his heart truly desires.

And then, one day the world he endures totally collapses.

He’s finally at his breaking point – maybe you haven’t been there, but I have. George Bailey is standing at the edge of a bridge fully ready to jump into the icy rushing river below because it doesn’t seem his life has mattered in the least. Out of the blue, a kindly angel (Clarence) appears to be drowning in the river below and of course, George jumps in to save him because he’s a compassionate human being.

Clarence is earning his wings as an angel and to earn them, he must show George what the world would look like if he were never born. It’s a bleak world indeed. I’ve even thought myself who would notice if I weren’t there? What if I’d never been born?

Let’s see. How would life be if I’d never been born? There would be nobody for my father to call “yardbird”. The puppy I brought home in the 4th grade would have a different home. The Senior Choir would have missed out on a less-than-stellar alto (I absolutely LOVED singing).

Who would have been there to accidentally transfer $100,000,000 to an account in the Commercial Lending Department at Mercantile Bank? Yes, alas that really happened. It got fixed, but it was scary at the time. (Memo to self: please learn the difference between $100M and $100K. Just sayin…)

There would be no childhood with awesome cousins, no fabulous white go-go boots, no Christmas ornaments from Germany, no awesome son, no beautiful daughter-in-law, no grandchildren, no bike riding, no golf and a thousand other events I could mention. And who would drink wine with my sister on her back porch in 105 degree weather?

Seriously.

You see, our lives are intertwined. We DO matter because we touch more lives than we imagine.

How Your Life Matters

In The Butterfly Effect by Andy Andrews, he talks about how each decision we make (or DON’T make), the things we say, the things we do all make  ripples of difference. If you don’t do this, then that won’t happen and by making this choice, that happens – you get the picture.

In his book, Andy says that in 1963, a scientist by the name of Edward Lorenz presented his hypothesis of the Butterfly Effect to the New York Academy of Science. This hypothesis is:

A butterfly could flap its wings and set molecules of air in motion, which would move other molecules of air, in turn moving more molecules of air — eventually capable of starting a hurricane on the other side of the planet.

He was laughed out of the conference. But guess what? More than thirty years later, the scientific community figured out that the Butterfly Effect was indeed correct.

It’s now known as the “Law of Sensitive Dependence Upon Initial Conditions.” I think Butterfly Effect sounds better.

Can you see how that works? When a butterfly simply flaps its’ wings on one side of the world, molecules change and we have Hurricane Maria. Make sense?

So what does that have to do with you and how your life matters?

In the end, how your life matters most is through kindness. Our world is cruel, inhumane and heartless. Yes, love matters, but no matter what, you can be kind. Each time you extend a kindness, you leave behind a sense of beauty which has a ripple effect. 

What if your small act of kindness stopped someone from doing the unthinkable? Can you imagine if you were the only one that was kind to some stranger today – what impact do you think your kindness might make? Even if all you have is your sweet smile – that’s all that matters.

I’m here to make a difference wherever I can be it through a listening ear, a compliment, a warm hug, aromatherapy – whatever. I choose to be kind and make a difference. Yes, sometimes I do feel invisible yet I know that my kindness leaves ripples wherever I go.

What about you?

How can you make a difference? How have you made difference? Please leave your comments in the space below and tell me. I want you to know that YOU make a difference to me and the rest of the world.

Blessings,

Melissa

P.S. Leaving a comment below or sharing this post on your favorite social media is an act of kindness. Thank you!

 

Aromatherapy Awareness Week

Aromatherapy Awareness Week, essential oils for relaxation, essential oils for stress, essential oils for pain, Scented Balance Aromatherapy

I’m so excited about Aromatherapy Awareness Week! If you’ve been around me for any length of time, you know I have a heart and passion for aromatherapy. I believe it’s my gift and calling.

Over the last two years, I have learned so much about the amazing ways that aromatherapy can change your life. To celebrate this awareness week, I’d like to share just a few ways that aromatherapy can quickly and easily make a difference in your life – and give you a special gift!

For those who don’t already know, aromatherapy is the use of pure essential oils and plant extracts to treat and address a variety of different concerns. Aromatherapy (done the right way) promotes harmony to your mind, body and spirit. Essential oils can be used for massaging, in creams, lotions and oils for applying to your body, in baths and showers, steam inhalation, aromatic spritzers, by diffusion and inhalation.

There are so many ways that essential oils can improve your quality of your life:

  • help you feel and look better
  • reduce stress, tension and trauma
  • assist with anxiety and depression
  • relieve chronic and occasional pain
  • support a healthy immune system
  • encourage sound sleep
  • ease digestive concerns
  • promote balance in your body, mind and spirit

Using essential oils is as natural as it gets. It offers an alternative to toxic pills, creams and lotions and reduces your chemical load (your liver thanks you!). While it’s quick, easy and simple, you do need a bit of guidance to use the oils correctly.

That’s where I come in. :0)

Being certified in aromatherapy assures you that I have lots of hours of training in chemistry, anatomy and physiology and botany. I’m trained to know how essential oils work with your body both energetically and physically. Currently, I work with 84 pure essential oils to help you in every way possible.

It’s so beneficial for you to use essential oils in your everyday life. The blends I carefully handcraft are a simple way for you to get acquainted with essential oils and to understand how they can help you.

That’s why I go to fairs, festivals and farmer’s markets because it gives me an opportunity to introduce you to the amazing benefits of aromatherapy and share my passion with you. You’ll find the products at Scented Balance are ready to use – right now.

In honor of National Aromatherapy Awareness Week, I’m offering a special gift to you – a 20% discount code to use with any product in the Scented Balance online aromatherapy shop. Simply use this code at checkout:

AROMA20

Thank you for your kindness, your support and your loyalty to me and Scented Balance. I’m so grateful to have this passion and to share it with you and help you feel awesome in body, mind and spirit!

Please do share the code with your friends – I’m happy to share my passion with them, too!

Blessings,

Melissa

Change Your Future By Changing Your Past

Change Your Future by Changing Your Past, perspective meaning, put things into perspective, paradigm shift, shifting your paradigm,

In growing as a human being, I do a LOT of reading. For years, I was a punching bag for the self-help industry and it got old real fast. I was trying to change my future by changing my past without addressing the real issue(s). 

Do you ever wish there was an reset button for your life? Whoops – didn’t want to do that – Undo! Ooh – wish that didn’t happen – Do-over! AACK – bad decision – Escape!

I so wish for a do-over button for some of the goofy things I did, poor decisions I made, and a number of experiences that happened to me during my childhood. (The good news? I did most of my stupid stuff w-a-a-a-y before Facebook!)

Everyone has something they wish they could do over or experience in a different way.

The lessons you learned growing up have a huge impact on the way you live your life now and going forward; sometimes our past holds us back from a peaceful present and abundant future.

Don’t you wish you could go back and change some of the events of your past? I do and I believe I have found a small way to change my past! 

No, I’m not the master of time travel. However, I’m learning to change my perspective on my past to make my future brighter. That change in perspective is what allows me to transform the past – at least my view of the past.

One of my favorite radio personalities had a horrendous childhood with parents that couldn’t have screwed up their children any more if they tried. Sheri Lynch is warm, funny, self-deprecating and has a hilarious perspective about the insanity of her childhood family life.

What strikes me most about her is that she relates stories regarding the lunancy and terror of her childhood with grace and humor. I appreciate the way Sheri has put things into perspective.

Some of the things that happened to her would totally screw up a lesser person, but she used the heartache and pain as motivation to get a college education, become an award-winning radio personality, write a couple of bestselling books and be the best parent she can be.

How did she do that????

Put Things Into Perspective

She changed her perspective. (Ok, I don’t know her personally, so this is just my opinion.) When you look back at some of your painful childhood events, what do you recall? What comes up when you think about some of these events?

Some of my childhood experiences would qualify me for the platinum level at the local looney bin, but all in all, I believe I escaped the insane asylum in fairly decent shape. (I’m not sure everyone in my world would agree with that statement. LOL) 

Some years ago, I decided to write a little book called Find Your Paradigm: The Art of Living With Grace and Ease. The process of putting my thoughts on paper really brought a lot of childhood memories flooding back and not all of them are good.

I can clearly see how my paradigms were formed, what makes me tick and why I have certain beliefs and fears. While I share many life experiences in Find Your Paradigm, there are some that I just couldn’t share. I’m not ready to expose the entire underbelly of my childhood to the world just yet.

Over time, I realized I was carrying baggage from the past and it was getting heavier and more emotionally draining by the day.

Just like you, I am a busy person. We all have jobs, families, homes, friends, hobbies and chores. After awhile, I realized I no longer had the time or energy to carry around the bags of disappointment, blame, anger, mistrust and frustration.

Had I stayed the course, all of this baggage ensured a dark and miserable future – not something I want.

Because I worked hard to change my perspective (somewhat) on past events, I believe my future is bright and filled with abundance. A paradigm shift, if you will.

Shifting Your Paradigm

Past events leave a deep impression on you; color your expectations about the future and leave you feeling either happy and excited or fearful and angry.

As recent as several years ago, I looked back on certain life events with anger and humiliation.

Somewhere along the line, I became aware of the physical damage these emotions initiated. My emotional baggage caused blood pressure concerns, weight issues, aches and pains that I couldn’t explain, and, worst of all, a really hopeless attitude about life in general.

Through forgiveness and some deep self-acceptance and self-love, now if I think about the events that generated all those emotions, I’m better able to see how and why the events unfolded as they did (although let’s be real here – I don’t pretend to understand someone else’s twisted reasoning).

While it wasn’t any fun enduring the horrors at the time, I’ve worked hard to use that pain to help others who struggle with emotional baggage. As a life coach, I have a unique perspective on a number of issues because of my childhood.

I learned some horrifying facts about my childhood from various family members about five years ago, and again, my perspective somewhat changed. Whew! I don’t think my perspective softened, but I now know that we make poor decisions for several reasons:

  • when we don’t know any better
  • when we feel there is no other choice
  • based on what we want and not necessarily what is best for all involved
  • because maybe you’re a mean person!

Who’s to judge what options are available to choose from when someone has to make a decision? When you feel like a victim, your decision-making skills are distorted and tend to go from bad to worse. Although, with that said, the choice to be kind or cruel to another human being (particularly a child) shouldn’t be that difficult.

A change in perspective requires forgiveness and some level of tolerance of others’ poor choices. Looking back, I was disillusioned and betrayed by various adults in my life; many of their warped paradigms followed me into adulthood.

Change Your Future By Changing Your Past

So here is the million dollar question: do you choose to become a product of your environment (meaning that if your mother was an ax murderer then you’re destined to be one, too) or do you choose to move beyond whatever warped family values you have and change your perspective?

Changing your perspective on the past allows your life to unfold with greater grace and ease!

I choose to rise above my circumstances, live with grace and ease, and create a life that is fulfilling for me. I can’t alter the way events unfolded all those years ago, but I can adjust how I perceive those experiences.

In essence, it does change my past in some way and I know I have transformed my future for the better.

I’d love to read your thoughts about your paradigm shift and how you changed your perspective on some harsh events. Please take a moment to leave a comment below. 

And if you’re ready to make a paradigm shift – let’s talk. Simply fill out this short contact form and let’s get started today.

Blessings,

Melissa

P.S. I’m very grateful when you share not only your comments, but this post with your friends!